Monday, September 13, 2010


Here in the laughter amid cheers, here in the music and dance amid the drunkenness, I jazz away in my absent mind.
Here with people with a lot of cares and stress and here with those whose caution is subject to the whims and caprices only of the wind.
Here with those whose only comfort is the laughter and silliness of others, here with those oblivious of the drunks, oblivious of the merry made, of the silliness, of the alcohol, of the intoxicating atmosphere and its culprits who “puff” their lungs away in unison, here amidst everything and yet nothing; I jazz away in my absent mind.
We choose to fuse our own world with reality when it pleases us, we choose to be oblivious of reality in our circumstances and situations, other times our minds” state is only controlled by our strong emotions of nothingness, are our emotions stronger than our thoughts? Are our thoughts stronger than our emotions? Are our motives stronger than our conscience? Are we driven only by the physical and not the spiritual? or are we confused by both and turn away from our hearts beckon? Are we anesthetized by the bases of our creation? Or do we live our lives in pretence and abject hypocrisy of what should be? Or what has to be fought for?
In my minds’ eye, so far but yet seemingly near a “Frank Sinatra” song, jazzing and filling the atmosphere with pleasant blues; yet my mind swims in these stringing questions above and gets lost in this world of swimming and lurking emotions of nothingness.
The deeper the words of a song in its distance, the stronger the emotions it resurrects and the more music amid the drunkenness; the more foggy the cheers for me as I jazz away in this absent mind.
There is no word like tranquility in this state, there is nothing like calmness in this state, the jazzy beats only beat your emotions to the beat or leaves it in a merry state, the jazzy beat only makes you remember in agony or reminds you what was or what could have been and what isn’t, the jazzy beats only keeps you in tune with the forgotten and incites your memories to fondness or to sheer anguish. But nevertheless; I remain in this BYWEL world that’s constantly jazzing my absent mind away.
Whiles in my wondering world, whiles looking on as the alcohol engulfs one and its effect amuses another into tip-toe dancing and whiles others, other influences also find “creatures of night service”; suddenly I am reminded of my task ahead, of my victory ahead, of my quest, of my conquest of enemy territories and of my eminent troubles, then I awake from my wondering world, form my absent mind into the BYWEL world of jazz and bid my acquaintances for the night good-bye but to meet again only this time not in my absent mind but in total glee…..but in glee….but in glee.

My name is LAURA and I share emotions and thoughts on this blog….

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