THE OLIVER TWIST NEVER HAVE ENOUGH SYNDROME

EVER HAD THAT MOMENT OF EMPTINESS?
EVER HAD THAT EMPTY MOMENT WHEN YOU ARE SO SURE YOU HAVE FOUND MR RIGHT OR MS RIGHT, YET THE LIGHTNESS JUST WON’T GO AWAY?
ANYONE?
WELL, I HAVE HAD THAT FEELING BEFORE AND TRUST ME IF YOU ARE SOMEONE LIKE ME WHO FIGHTS TO SELF TO ACKNOWLEDGE FALLING INLOVE AND THEN DOES THAT WHOLE-HEARTEDLY, THEN YOU ARE IN TROUBLE!
NOW HOLD ON! I NEVER SAID THE SITUATION IS DEAD BAD, IF YOU HAVE HAD THAT FEELING BEFORE, IT MAY ONLY MEAN YOU MAY BE “DEEP”.
THE THING IS, THAT FEELING IS NOT SYNANYMOUS TO JUST “THE THING CALLED LOVE”, BUT APPLICABLE TO REAL LIFE ISSUES, ISSUES THAT MAY AFFECT US EMOTIONALLY AND WHICH CAN TRANSCEND TO YOUR PERSONALITY OUTPUT OR RELATIONSHIP WITH OTHERS AND EVEN WORK.
OK SO BY NOW I KNOW YOU ARE PRE-EMPTING MY NEXT LINE, WHY THIS PIECE? WELL LET ME PLAY TO YOUR GALARY THEN.
I FOUND A VERY DISTURBING LETTER IN MY INBOX, CONTAINED IN THE LETTER WAS THE WORDS OF A CONFUSED WOMAN SO TO SPEAK.
HER LIMBO? EMPTINESS! GREY AS SHE CALLED HERSELF; DESCRIBED IN THE BEGINNING OF THE LETTER A “FAIRY TALE MAN” FOR A BOYFRIEND!
THE GUY WAS SPOTLESS (OR SO SHE THOUGHT) LOVING (WHICH NOW I SURMISED FROM HER LETTER SHE WASN’T EVEN SURE OF) CARING, PATIENT, ENDERING, FUN WHEN IT PLEASED HIM BUT ECCENTRIC AND THAT WAS ONE OF THE THINGS SHE LOVED ABOUT HIM.GREY SAID IT TOOK HER QUITE A WHILE TO WARM UP TO HIM, BEING A VICTIM OF HEARTBREAKS SHE GAURDED HERSELF AND EMOTIONS FROM ANY “TROUBLE”.
WELL, FINALLY SHE GAVE IN TO HER EMOTIONS AND IN HER OWN WORDS “IT WAS SO GOOD IN BEING TRUE” AND SHE WANTED ALL THE TIME WITH HIM (ok if you are a guy reading this, u are at this point permitted to roll your eyes) EVERYTHING WENT ON SO FAST, SHE JUST COULDN’T STOP THEM FROM HAPPENING (I became psychic here knowing where this part meant).
GREY NOW TALKED ABOUT HER ACTUAL LIMBO “IT STRUCK ME THAT YES HE PROFESSED LOVE TO ME AND I DID SAME BUT WAIT! FROM THAT MOMENT ON NOTHING WAS DEFINED? IF IT WAS A RELATIONSHIP OR NOT? OR TO WHAT END WAS WHAT THEY WERE DOING”.
ACCORDING TO GREY HER “SPOTLESS MAN” ALWAYS WENT PHILOSOPHICAL ON HER ANYTIME SHE ASKED “SO WHAT ARE? WHAT IS IT? A RELATIONSHIP? WHAT? WHEN DO I GET TO MEET YOUR SO FOND OF BROTHERS?”
NOW SHE ACTUALLY FEELS STRONGLY HE HAS SOMEONE SOMEWHERE, OTHERWISE WHY WOULD HE NOT BE CERTAIN OF WHAT HE WANTS WITH HER! “WORRIED, SCARED, FEELING STUPID THAT HIM OF ALL PEOPLE WOULD TAKE ME FOR GRANTED, AM DIENG INSIDE BECAUSE JUST THE THOUGHT OF HIM (MR SPOTLESS) TAKING ADVANTAGE OF ME OR TAKING ME FOR GRANTED GIVES ME SLEEPLESS WINK.
“ITS DIFFIDCULT WHAT YOU CAN DO FOR ME, BUT I HAVE READ THE BLOGS AND THE FACT THAT YOU HAVE PRESENTED A SHOW RELATED TO MATTERS OF THE HEART AND I JUST WANT YOU TO BE CANDID WITH ME, WHETHER YOU ARE A MAN OR WOMAN”….. AM I BEING REALOR BEING OLIVER TWIST?”
MY OPNION? I DO NOT HAVE ONE… QUITE FRANKLY I CANNOT TELL IF HE IS SEING SOMEONE ELSE APART FORM YOU GREY?
I CANNOT BEGIN TO UNDERSTAND HIS INTENTIONS OR MAYBE YOU NEVER WENT INTO DETAILS BUT SEEMS TO ME DESPITE ALL YOUR FEARS YOU DON’T WANT TO LOOSE HIM? (OBVIOUSLY) AND YOU LOVE HIM, EVEN MORE THAN YOU KNOW OR WANT TO ADMIT! AND THAT MAKES WORDS DIFFICULT TO WRITE.
I ASK GREY… “WHICH PART HURTS MORE? THE FACT THAT YOU DON’T KNOW HIS INTENTIONS? OR THAT YOU DON’T THINK IT’S NORMAL TO JUST “GO WITH THE FLOW” (so to speak) AND MOST IMPORTANTLY HAVE YOU TRIED TALKING TO “MR SPOTLESS?”
I MAY HAVE QUITE A NUMBER OF QUESTIONS BUT FOR ME I THINK THESE ARE THE CLOSSEST TO ASK NOW…
NOW TO THE ISSUE, COULD GREY BE HAVING “THE NEVER ENOUGH SYND ROME?” OR IS SHE JUST BEING OLIVER TWIST? THAT’S MY QUESTION TO YOU READING.
FOR ME; I THINK WE ALWAYS DO! WE HUMANS TALK OF THE CHARACTER OLIVER TWIST IN PASSING BUT INFACT OLIVER TWIST CAN BE LIKENED TO US. IN MASLOWS HEIRACHY OF NEEDS, MAN CAN NEVER REACH SELF ACTUALIZATION AND THIS IS TO MEAN EVEN WHEN ONE REACHES THE HIGHEST POINT AS PER DEFINED BY THE ABRAHAM MASLOW’S HIERACHY; ONE STILL YEARNS FOR MORE AND THEN IN ESSENCE HITS THE “LIMBO BUTTON” OF GOING UP! UP! OR STAYING JUST UP!” (Reaching the highest pedigree what would FORMER UN SEC. GEN. & proud son of Ghana Kofi Annan do? Or which part of the hierarchy ladder does he climb now?)
I HOPE AM MAKING SENSE? GREY’S LETTER PUT ME INTO THE QUESTIONING MOOD AND I ASKED AMONG OTHER THINGS IF “THE NEVER HAVE ENOUGH SYNDROME” TRANSCENDS TO EVERYONE, SOME FEW OR JUST GREY?
WE ALL HAVE DESIRES AND INDEED SOME NEVER GET THEIR DESIRES FULFILLED FOR VARIOUS REASONS BUT WHERE THEN DO WE DRAW THE LINE BETWEEN “BEING OLIVER TWIST AND BEING PLAIN GREEDY? OR BEING INSPIRED AND BEING GREEN-EYED WITH ENVY?
WHERE DO YOU DRAW THE LINE?
WHERE DO I DRAW THE LINE?
AND IS GREY BEING JUST A WOMAN OR JUST HUMAN?
THINK ABOUT IT….
YOU MIGHT JUST BE TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF?
…. I’LL BE BACK AND THEN WE TALK ABOUT THE OTHER SIDE OF THE COIN!
(Oh I haven’t forgotten people THERE WILL BE PART TWO OF LET’S TALK ABOUT SEX” SOON)
……a bientot

LET'S TALK ABOUT SEX!

LET’S TALK ABOUT SEX.


WHAT?! OOOh please! Did I say something wrong?
Did I say something YOU HAVEN’T DONE BEFORE? lol
Now you are talking, BRING IT ON PEOPLE!
LET’S TALK ABOUT SEX! SEX! SEX! SEX!
My high-tech PDA phone is a year old since I got it as a gift…
A year on, I still haven’t figured out the phone! It’s still complex.
Now on one of the days when I was dying of boredom; I picked up the phone and then “PRESTO”!
I was utterly amazed at what I saw and what I had to go through to uncover the pictures before my eyes, I couldn’t believe I had to even use phone codes which was also somewhere on the phone to open this folder!
Enough with the suspense, what actually attracted my curiosity antenna to the folder had to do with the title of the folder:
THE ART OF POSITIONS! 
Yeah! You are green-eyed already …..
Still pictures of SEXUAL POSITIONS!
This actually inspired this piece, LETS TALK ABOUT SEX!
Tell me your favorite sexual positions and I would give you a full detail and even go on to tell you about it s health implications, pleasures and pros and cons.
The missionary, the rider, supported the unconventional Tree position et al.
Trust me; there’s a lot where that came from. Why most of us find it difficult to talk about sex, its pleasures and displeasures; I would need a whole thesis to understand.
But really I am curious, how would you want your love night served?
• Studies have shown that good sex reliefs one of headaches, research has also proved that after good sex; Having sex once or twice a week has been linked with higher levels of an antibody called immunoglobulin A or IgA, which can protect you from getting colds and other infections.

• Reduced risk of heart disease: In a 2001 follow-up to the Queens University study mentioned above, researchers focused on cardiovascular health, their findings? That by having sex three or more times a week, men reduced their risk of heart attack or stroke by half.
Need I say more? Lol As I said “LET’S TALK ABOUT SEX”
I’ll let you in on a little bit of mine; has to be spontaneous& romantic, a kiss here, a caress there, nibbling of the nose here, a pinch there (ooh ouch) and wet soft kisses on the neck and a little sweet talk and then fore play can begin, mind you I really have to be into you? Oh else; all you would be up to no good!
I once co-hosted a television show where we discussed LOVE, CO-HABITATION, and PAIN& RELATIONSHIPS IN GENERAL and then on special days we talked exclusively about SEX! People were delighted, (besides their faces weren’t seen when they called), our fun base was enough stronghold for the creative content department we fell under (besides their faces weren’t seen when they called)
The men talked about penis enlargement and satisfying their partners to pre-mature ejaculation to oral sex hmmm, I’ll stop there!
The women, plenty! The fact that many never reached orgasm (some didn’t even know how it felt like to even tell if they ever had one), some talked generally of HOW UNROMANTIC MOST MEN WHERE (some said& I quote: They think SEX is just about sticking IT IN), heartbreaks of many forms and a whole lot but the show stopper for the ever growing audience was the “Kama sutra book” on SEXUAL POSTIONS!
Ok the aim really of this piece is to make you and I understand that there’s nothing wrong with talking about SEX in the open! YOU ENJOYED IT PLEASE SAY SO! YOU DIDN’T ENJOY IT! SAY SO! AND PLEASE STOP FAKING THE ORGASIM! (I know the men won’t know the difference between a fake orgasm and a real orgasm but come to think of it; who would you be fooling, when you don’t experience the cloud 9?)
And men, do you have to be that selfish even in the bedroom? When you “come”, you are done! Then you roll over and start snoring! No wonder most times the women just want to break your ego bubbles with “small penis accusations” and “no skill accusations” and all that.
I guess knowing your partner and what He/She likes does a lot of good but I still want to know yours….
So I invite you to tell me your favorite sex position and let’s discuss its pleasures if any!
Do women experience orgasm at all in their lifetime?
What is it with size?
Which would you choose; SIZE OR SKILLS?
What is it with the male ego and satisfying a woman?
What’s with the men and the “auto-pilot penis” or should I say “penis emancipation from the brain” ANY TIME A WOMAN SNUGGLES UP TO THE MAN TO BE CUDDLED?
And why is it for many men our expression of LOVE HAS TO BE SEX MOST OF THE TIME?

I’LL BE BACK  BUT FOR YOUR COMMENTS….

DEAL WITH IT!

DEAL WITH IT!


(A LETTER TO “ONCE THE LOVE OF MY LIFE”)

Dearest,

Surprised I am still calling you that? Well do not think of me BAD, do not think of me wicked; but I have to do this….
I might as well go straight to the point and stop getting confused myself as to where to start from.
I know by now the female instinct in you has figured it out already…
I CAN’T DO THIS ANYMORE! THIS RELATIONSHIP WOULD HURT US, MORE ESPECIALLY YOU.
Stop trying too hard to solve a problem that has ONLY ONE SOLUTION!
I wouldn’t say let’s breakup for a while, frankly I think that is mockery of each other when both partners know it would only take “some divine eye” to make that happen.
We need this breakup, well I NEED THIS BREAKUP!
DO NOT CRY OVER ME, AM DEFINITELY NOT DEAD YET!
DO NOT CURSE ME; GOD KNOWS I AM DOING YOU AND MYSELF THE FAVOUR!
RATHER, A LITTLE GRATIFICATION AFTER THE HURT BECAUSE I WASN’T A HYPOCRATE!
I AM JUST NOT INTO YOU ANYMORE! TRY DEALING WITH IT!
I AM DEALING WITH IT!
…..used to love you Brain Turff

Interesting letter huh? My favorite part? DEAL WITH IT!
My question (as u know by now I like to ask questions) is really HOW DO YOU DEAL WITH IT?
Forget the “by the author/book prescription” of DEALING WITH IT! Truth be told some of us both male and female never DEAL WITH IT, we rather condition our minds that “oh yes, we are better off without the heartbreakers.
And indeed We are better off without them, that’s for sure but WE ARE ALSO BETTER OFF DEALING WITH THOSE EMOTIONS RATHER THAN SHOVING IT OFF ON THE DENIAL SHELF thinking and singing “AM A SURVIVOR”.
OH YES! YOU WOULD SURVIVE AT LEAST FOR A WHILE AND THEN BREAK DOWN AGAIN! What name then do u give to that? Because you would have lost the “destiny’s child lead singer for that song; I AM A SURVIVOR lol.
Ok no teasing, but seriously, cast your mind back and ask yourselves as you read this “DID I EVER DEAL WITH IT?”
I think we hardly do, I DARE SAY WE NEVER DO DEAL WITH IT!
Rather we walk around with the am a survivor attitude and hurt the next man or woman who comes our way without even giving them the chance to do right by US. Thing is we are TOO EMBITTERED!
YES SHE LEFT YOU! AND OFCOURSE HE LEFT YOU! DEAL WITH IT. CONFRONT YOUR PAIN, CRY IF YOU HAVE TO (suicide would mean he or she was so right to have left you TRUST ME!).
HAVE SEX IF YOU HAVE TO (Lord knows we humans have different ways of letting off steam)
But after the tears, like the rain or the storm; the SUN WOULD NEVER STAY HIDDEN IN THE CLOUDS!
Then FORGIVE YOURSELVE, BECAUSE SURELY AT A CERTAIN STAGE OF DEALING WITH IT YOU PLAY THE BLAME GAME!
FORGIVE YOURSELVE, YOU WON’T BE THE LAST TO BE DUMPED that’s for sure.
For me; I think FORGIVING YOURSELVE IS PARAMOUNT! THEN DEAL WITH THE FACT OF BEING LONELY ONLY BUT FOR SOMETIME AND INDULGE WITH FRIENDS!
I AM NOT PRESCRIBING ANYTHING…
ALL I AM SAYING IS THAT “YES HE LEFT YOU! YES SHE DUMPED YOU”, YOU WON’T BE THE LAST!
AND SWEETY; STOP BEING A WHIMP YOUR LIFETIME.
DEAL WITH IT!
TELL ME AM LYING… 

IS IS IT SEX OR MAKING LOVE?

IS IT SEX OR MAKING LOVE?
Why I am talking about this at all? Hmm, for sometime I have asked myself which one it is (seriously I get confused too (trust me it’s amazing how we all get confused at the least stuff).
Any way what prompted even more this is a conversation I eavesdropped a week ago between A woman and her confused partner who even made things worse for himself with his Ignorance in a female argument! And it’s as follows:
Girl-“Aaaah? You are not romantic at all? What is the SEX WAS GOOD? You make it sound like there were no emotions attached to it!”
Guy- “What? But we had sex didn’t we?”
Girl – “Am disappointed in you Frank! I thought you were that romantic and kind with words? What happened to you?(ok seriously let me sound a little cynical here… the guy is just being a man? Since when did men stop being men? Like it or not even in their 50’s THEY ARE STILL BOYS! CUT HIM SOME SLACK RIGHT?)
Guy – “Me? What did I do now? We had SEX! By the way how am I supposed to say it? It was sexual intercourse we had right?”
Girl – “You know what? Forget it, its endless talking to you about this, but just so you know; I thought of you better than this….
Then came the silence that follows when there’s being an unsatisfactory argument, I knew then that this Issue wasn’t over. And am sure the guy knew that.
Now to my confusion! Which is it SEX? MAKING LOVE? OR WHAT IS IT, SEXUAL INTERCOURSE?
Now the English dictionary has definitions for all of this BUT FOR MAKING LOVE! Hmmm should be disappointed too? I mean the fact that MAKING LOVE (the preferred word) is not featured in the dictionary?
So people help me OUT HERE OR AM SURE I’LL ALSO GET ANGRY (like the young lady did in the conversation earlier.)
Ok, so I have thrown the invitation! “WHO IS THE SEXOLOGIST? Please put down your thoughts and help all the confused people (INCLUDING MYSELF I MUST ADD)
Why do the women want to hear “MAKE LOVE” rather than jus “SEX”? And WHY IN THE WORLD CAN’T THE MEN JUST GET THE DRIFT? For crying out loud that’s what the women want to hear!
Case and Point, tell them what they want to hear and have some peace of mind (are men oblivious or new to the saying, “if you can’t beat them; join them?)
I was chatting on facebook recently when I asked a male acquaintance the same question and hmmm don’t ask me-CONFUSION OVER WHICH IS RIGHT.
Another male acquaintance also gave pretty interesting comments, He said one (SEX) would be for exercise, and the other (obviously making love) is for procreation.
Interesting comments but hmm really isn’t it the same thing? In the process of “exercising, there’s procreation abi? Hmmmm
What a world, eh? With all the troubles we go through daily this one too make wahala!


Anyway, join the “confusion”… :)

WHICH IS MORE BEAUTIFUL?LOVE? OR YOU?

Which is more beautiful? LOVE OR YOU?
What is more precious? LOVE OR YOU?
I ask these questions mainly because people and suffice me to say women place too much premium on LOVE rather than on ourselves and end up hurting...
tell you what? LOVE'S confusing enough; if you the individual is confused about how much value you place or would place on yourself; please try staying clear of LOVE! And that's my OPINION THANK YOU.
I read from one Anna Louise Strong that "To fall in love is easy; even to remain in it is not difficult; our human loneliness is cause enough. But it is a hard quest worth making to find a comrade through whose steady presence one becomes steadily the person one desires to be"
Interesting isn’t it? What is even more interesting is the fact that many of us upon reading this may allude to that fact….Falling in love is that easy, but finding THAT PERSON; A PARTNER, A FRIEND, A COMPANIOIN, A COMRADE? “Niger person would say: It’s not izzy ooo”. And let’s face it people finding THAT PERSON? Is the most difficult and I dare say that most of the time We just settle for the appreciated quantum and well it’s quite understandable especially for the women who have their biological clock to think about with the tick of the second clock.
My point here people so that I do not go round in circles and end up confusing myself and you as well is simply really If you have issues placing premium on yourself you probably would translate this confusion to even your choice of a partner and even on the subject LOVE.
Many books from the Shakespeare’s, The Nora Roberts, and Sydney Sheldon’s, Jackie Collins; name them. All these writers agree beyond reasonable doubt that LOVE is a beautiful thing, maybe they should also underline the fact that Without LOVING YOURSELF, WITHOUT PLACING VALUE ON WHO YOU ARE, YOU WOULD BE LEAD TO ONE WHO EQUALLY WOULD PLACE NO VALUE ON YOU.
SO; AFTER READING THIS PIECE (not very interesting I know) ASK YOURSELF AGAIN, WHICH IS MORE BEAUTIFUL?
LOVE? OR YOU?