WHEN U LOOSE IT

…WHEN I WAS GROWING UP MY MOTHER A DEVOUT CHRISTIAN ALWAYS SAID “SPARE THE ROD AND SPOIL THE CHILD” A QUOTE IN THE BIBLE THAT MADE HER DAY ANY TIME SHE WANTED TO CANE ME FOR A LITTLE TROUBLE.
WELL OVER TIME I NEVER REALLY CARED, ME BEING THAT “TOMBOYISH” CHARACTER I LOST IT! I LOST THE FEAR IN THE PAIN OF THE CANE OR THE PUNISHMENT FOR MY DISOBIDIENCE!
MY MOTHER’S WORDS THAT USED TO FRIGHTEN ME “I WILL BEAT YOU TILL YOU HAVE VISIBLE MARKS ON YOUR BODY” NEVER GOT TO ME AT THAT POINT! I LOST IT!
…BUT MY MOTHER OR MY TROUBLESOME ADVENTURES WHICH I WAS ALWAYS CAUGHT AT EVERYTIME ARE REALLY NOT PART OF THIS DISCUSSION!
IT IS ONLY THE PRELUDE (LET ME CHOOSE TO CALL IT)…..
BY NOW I BELIEVE YOU HAVE NOTICED A TREND IN MY WRITING!THOUGHTS!
MAYBE BECAUSE I HAVE BEEN IN THAT POSITION OF TRYING TO GIVE HELP TO OTHERS AND THEN BECOME LOUSY AT IT MYSELF BECAUSE NOBODY REALLY LISTENED TO MINE(IF I CHOOSE TO SHOW I HAD ANY).
FOR TODAY, NOW, MY THOUGHTS? WHEN YOU LOOSE IT?
WHEN YOU LOOSE WHAT? WHEN YOU LOOSE YOUR GRIP ON LOVE, WHEN YOU LOOSE TRUST, WHEN YOU LOOSE THE RESPECT FOR YOUR PARTNER OR YOUR PARTNER FOR YOU, WHEN YOU LOOSE YOUR GRIP OR YOUR GROUNDS ON YOUR PARTNER!
OVER HERE, IN OUR PART OF TOWN! ITS ABOUT THE GLORIFICATION OF VIRGINITY! NOW DO NOT GET ME WRONG I HAVE NO PROBLEM WITH IT, THAT’S OUR CULTURE AND FOR SOME PARENTS THERE’S PRIDE TO HAVE THEIR DAUGHTERS GET MARRIED BEFORE “POPPING THEIR CHERRIES”…..
BUT THERE EQUALLY WOMEN WHO POP THEIR CHERRIES BEFORE GETTING MARRIED OR EVEN AT AN AGE SO YOUNG; FOR ME IT DOES NOT MAKE THEM ANY LESS HUMAN OR GLORIFIED OR BAD! THE PROBLEM IS IN THE SOCIETAL ORIENTATION OF SOME “SPOILED SPOT” WHEN THE WOMAN IS SAID TO HAVE “LOST HER VIRGINITY”.
WELL TO THE ISSUE AT HAND…. I LIVED IN ENGLAND BRIEFLY AND CASTING MY MIND TO BACK THEN I WAS LIKE AMAZED AT HOW MY FRIEND MET A GUY AT THE AIRPORT WHILES PICKING ME UP AND WITHIN TWO WEEKS OF TALKING; SHE COMES ONE DAWN FROM A NIGHT-OUT WITH THIS GUY AND PRESTO! SHE HAD THAT “GIDY-GIRLIE –SHAGGY” SMILE HUMMING AND GIGGLING AND I KNEW SHE HAD SLEPT WITH THE GUY AND THE GUY NEVER SAW THAT AS HER BEING CHEAP INFACT HE KEPT COMING AND COMING?I WAS BE-MUSED(if that’s the word). AND I MET HER FRIENDS OF DIFFERENT RACES: CAUCASIANS, PURE ENGLISH, FRENCH, NAME IT; THE LEVEL OF UNDERSTANDING OF ONES SEXUALITY AND MORE ESPECIALLY WITH THE MEN, I COULD NOT GET IT THAT SLEEPING WITH A WOMAN ON A FIRST DATE NEVER MEANT FOR THE MEN THAT THE WOMAN WAS “CHEAP”? WHICH IS QUITE DIFFERERNT IN MY PART OF TOWN!
NOW HOLD ON DON’T LET BOREDOM SET IN YET! I’LL STATE MY CASE. WHAT I LEARNT DURING MY “BRIEF EXILE” IN ENGLAND AND STINT IN THE UNITED STATES WAS THE LEVEL OF THINKING ESPECIALLY WITH THE MEN WHO NEVER THOUGHT ANY LESS OF A WOMAN WHO “GAVE IT AWAY” BEFORE MARRIAGE, ALTHOUGH THE PERCEPTION WAS DIFFERENT WHERE I CAME FROM, I LEARNT A LOT IN THAT SENSE.
NOW, WHERE I CAME FROM IT WAS QUITE PATHETIC, THE TEARS OF SOME LADIES I CAME ACROSS WHO AFTER SLEEPING WITH THEIR BOYFRIENDS SENSED CHANGE IN THEIR ATTITUDE TOWARDS THEM, NOW SOME OF THE GUYS WERE IN JUST FOR THE “CHOPS”, THAT’S DIFFERENT BUT THE INTERACTIONS I HAD WERE MORE OF THOSE IN A RELATIONSHIP.
ONE SUCH LADY TOLD HER STORY OF HER “PRINCE CHARMING” WHOM SHE HAD SO MUCH BELIEVE, RESPECT AND TRUST REPOSED IN HIM. IT WAS DIFFICULT FOR HER, SHE SAID; BEING HURT OVER AND OVER AGAIN.YOU KNOW FINDING A GOOD WOMAN AFTER SHE’S BEEN WITH BAD MEN WAS NOT EASY.AFTER MUCH CONSIDERATION SHE DECIDED THAT THIS YOUNG MAN WHO WAS BY HER SIDE IN HER WEAK MOMENTS DESRVED MORE THAN A HAND OF FRIENDSHIP AND SHE HAD GROWN TO LOVE HIM ANYWAY.
THEN SHE LOST IT! I MEAN THEN SHE SLEPT WITH HIM AND WEEKS LATER HER INSTINCTS OF ANOTHER WOMAN STARTED GROWING AND GROWING. THEN ONE DAY SHE FOUND A VIDEO OF ANOTHER WOMAN ON HIS BED CHATTING HEARTLY.SHE WAS SO DUMBFUNDED HER PANIC ONLY CAME HOURS LATER!
HER PRINCE CHARMING WHO SHE ALREADY HAD COMMUNICATION PROBLEMS WITH WAS NOT REMORSEFUL; TO HIM SHE SHOULDN’T HAVE FIGGITTED WITH THE PHONE IN THE FIRST PLACE AND RE-ITERATED THAT WHAT SHE SAW WAS IRRELEVANT. FOR HER, THE WHOLE THING STARTED AFTER SHE SLEPT WITH HIM!HE MADE HER FEEL SHE HAD GIVEN IT AWAY TOO SOON AND FELT SHE HAD LOST HER GRIP ON THE MAN SHE LOVED AFTER SLEEPING WITH HIM! NOW THAT WAS HER IMPRESSION REALLY AND I DON’T WANT TO JUDGE IF SHE WAS WRONG OR NOT.
BUT CUTTING THE LONG STORY SHORT, THINGS NEVER SEEMED RIGHT; SHE FELT THE RELATIONSHIP GROWING APART, SHE DESCRIBED THEIR DATES FROM THEN ON AS AN EFFORT FROM HER RATHER AND NOT HIM AND WHEN THEY WERE TOGETHER, IT WAS AS THOUGH THEY WERE FAR APART AND IT TORE HER APART BECAUSE REALLY THE SITUATION MADE HER PARANOID AND PASSING JUDGEMENTS WHICH I BELIEVE ALSO CREATED AN IMPRESSION(NEGETIVE) ON THE MAN……
WELL THE RELATIONSHIP IS STILL STRIVING.

FOR YOU MY REAADER AND FOR ME, THE QUESTION WOULD BE:

• WHEN DO WE SAY WE HAVE LOST IT ESPECIALLY IN A RELATIONSHIP?

• IS AFTER SLEEPING WITH OUR PARTNERS?

• DO YOU SPOIL ANYTHING AT ALL IF YOU SLEEP WITH YOUR PARTNER WHOM YOU AREN’T MARRIED TO?

• WHAT IS IT WITH THE GLORIFICATION OF VIRGINITY?