ARE YOU DEFINED BY YOUR PAIN?

EACH TEAR, EACH EXPERIENCE; GOOD OR BAD AND ITS LESSONS

In each tear
There ’s a lesson,
Makes you wiser than before
Makes you stronger than you know
In each tear
Brings you closer to your dreams
No mistake, no heartbreak
Can take away what your meant to be...

This is the chorus to the soul strong R&B singer: MARY J. BLIDGE's "IN EACH TEAR"
The content of the song serves a platform for flashbacks into all your experiences, those that made you cry and struck a chord making you realize that you still have some healing to do, those experiences that broke your very core, those experiences that have left that indelible mark in your mind which eventually informs your resolve today and perhaps the future.
Seriously it got me thinking…. Between your experiences and your reflection on events is TIME, and trust you me; time can make or break you….most times; we create a bypass to our experiences especially the bad ones and then we live our lives parading a charade of emotions until One Day, just One Day, SOMETHING HAPPENS for us to realize that the HURT, the ANGER, the PAIN is still there…..
Letting Go is a difficult “road choice”, It’s so hard especially when the experience leaves you hurt, confused, cheated/taken for granted? The grudge leaves you broken and subsequently your emotions just shuts it out as one of the many defensive mechanisms but suffice me to say LETTING GO may be hard to do but it saves us a lot of unwarranted pain in the future; the kind that pushes everything good you should love and welcome away and take this from me personally; you do not want to live your life with all that pain& anger because the destruction of yourself and the people you love? Is like you throwing a stone hard at the wall, it comes back hard to hit you…PICTURE THAT!
Well, let’s return to the song:
WE CAN’T CHANGE THE THINGS,
THAT WE DONE, THAT’S IN THE PAST.
BUT FIGHTING WON’T GET US ANYWHERE…..

I once read somewhere that History is not made from the past to the present but from the present to the past; so ask yourself what gain is in living in the present but fighting the past? What history do you make fighting someone or something which or who wasn’t important or strong enough to stay in your present? I LEAVE THAT TO YOU to answer...
Another part of the song says:
YOU'RE MUCH MORE THAN A STRUGGLE THAT YOU GO THROUGH
YOU'RE NOT DEFINED BY YOUR PAIN, SO LET IT GO...
YOU’RE NOT A VICTIM, YOU'RE MORE LIKE A WINNER
AND YOU’RE NOT IN DEFEAT, YOU'RE MORE LIKE A QUEEN …
Who says the things you go through are pertinent to just you? Who says you are the only one with a paper roll of problems? Whatever you think you are going through that’s too much; remember “IT COULD HAVE BEEN WORSE AND INDEED HEAR SOMEONES STORY THEN YOU’LL STOP DROWNING YOURSELF IN SELF PITY! YOU ARE NOT DEFINED BY YOUR PAIN….
JUST GET THE SONG AND LISTEN TO IT CAREFULLY AND ASK YOURSELF; WHERE DO I STAND? WHERE AM I MAKING HISTORY? IN MY PAST? (Then tell me what that would be) OR IN MY PRESENT?
MY DEAR… IF EACH TEAR there’s no EVERY LESSON and if the LESSONS don’t make YOU WISER AND STRONGER THAN BEFORE? THEN MY GUESS?
YOU ARE GOING TO BE CRYING FOR A LONG TIME….. PICTURE THAT!
To THE QUEEN OF R&B SOUL MARY J. BLIDGE; WE ONLY GROW STRONGER SO HELP US GOD!