REPLY TO MY BLOG READER

I HAD AN INTRESTING CHAT ON THE INTERNET WITH AN AQUINTANCE, AFTER READING MY BLOG POST TITLED “DEAL WITH IT”!
I HAD RE-WRITTEN HER HURT! APPARENTLY, HER BOYFRIEND WROTE HER A SIMILAR LETTER! THOUGH HE WAS MORE APOLOGETIC, THE GUY WAS DUMPING HER PERIOD! AND THOUGH SHE’S ABOUT TO DATE SOMEONE ELSE NOW (she still hasn’t made up her mind) THERE WERE LITTLE THINGS THAT GOT HER PARANIOD AND AS SUCH THROW ISSUES OUT OF PROPORTION ESPECIALLY WITH THIS NEW GUY WHOS SHOWN INTREST IN DATING HER.
FOR HER, IT WASN’T EASY LETTING GO AND IT WASN’T AS THOUGH SHE DIDN’T KNOW IT WOULD BE FOR HER OWN GOOD, THING IS ALL ALONG SHE ACTUALLY THOUGHT SHE HAD.(DENIAL&SURVIVOR ATTITUDE).
SHE SAID MY COMMENTS AFTER THE LETTER WAS AS THOUGH I HAD NEVER BEEN BROKEN HEARTED; THEN I TOLD HER THIS STORY AFTER MINUTES OF BEING HESITANT.
I HAVE BEEN THERE BEFORE! BROKEN HEARTED? I HAVE! HAD HEARTBREAKS THAT HAD TO BE MENDED THE HARD WAY?(quite frankly for a carefully sculptured person like myself, I have had it coming in my growing years) AND THAT’S WHY I CAN TALK ABOUT EVEN WITH A LITTLE CYNISM! (OH BY THE WAY, I LOVE CYNICISM& IT’S MY WAY OF MOCKEREY)
MY STORY,
I FELL INLOVE WITH SOMEONE AND MUCH AS I TRIED TO FIGHT THE FEELING, IT JUST WON’T GO AWAY. WE WERE FRIENDS AND THERE WERE THOSE SUBTLE SIGNS THAT WOULD MAKE A GIRL GIGGLE KNOWING AND THEN WHEN WE COULDN’T KID OURSELVES ANYMORE….hmmm IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
THE BEAUTY WAS IN HOW OUR SPONTENUITY WAS NSYNC!
HOW WE OR EVEN I COULD BE UPSET ABOUT NOT RECEIVING LOVE CALLS AND YET EVERY ANGER JUST VANISHED WHEN WE MET! (Truth be told; I find it difficult getting angry with the people I care about).
WE WERE FRIENDS AND I WASN’T BOTHERED ABOUT THE OVER POSSESIVE MOMENTS WHICH GAVE WAY TO IRRATIONAL BEHAVIOUR AND SUBSEQUENTLY AN ARGUMENT OVER NOTHING REALLY (AND OH I DID MOST OF THE IRRATIONAL BEHAVIOUR BUT HIS WAS OF A MORE FEARFUL ECOUNTER WHEN HIS MADNESS TOOK OVER HIM) BUT WHEN WE MADE UP, WE WERE THE BEST OF FRIENDS!
TALKING SILLY ANYTIME WE GOT THE CHANCE, CHASING EACH OTHER IN THE COMPOUND BY THE ROAD SIDE, WE MADE USE OF EVERY SPACE WE GOT.
BEAUTIFUL HUH? WE WERE BOTH QUITE PRIVATE PEOPLE SO INTRODUCTIONS TO OUR FOLKS TOOK TIME (much to my disappointment).
THE POSSESIVENES NOW WASN’T AN ISSUE IN PASSING! BUT NOW IT HAD BECOME MORE SERIOUS AND I GOT REALLY UNHAPPY! TILL A TIME WHEN I COULDN’T TAKE IT ANYMORE.
THEN CAME THE LETTER WHICH FINALLY TORE THE WEAK STRAW I TRIED CLINGING ON TO HOPING THAT THINGS WOULD GET BETTER.
IMAGINE? HIM BREAKING UP WITH ME? WHEN HE WAS THE ONE WITH THE OBNOXIOUS CHARACTER.
TRUST ME; IT WAS MORE CYNICAL AND ENRAGING! SO YOU SEE, I HAVE HAD MY FIAR SHARE J OF “THE NONSENSE OF HEARTBREAKS AND CRYING SILLY FOR HOURS WHILES OTHERS ARE SLEEPING PROBABLY DREAMING OF CANAAN)
I LIVED MY LIFE ANGRY, EMBITTERED, AND BLAMING MYSELF AND AS A RESULT I GUESS I HURT EVERY NICK&TOM WHO CAME MY WAY WITH MY EXCESSIVE JELOUSY, SUSPICIONS AND PARANIOA. AND IF
AM GRATEFUL THAT I LET GO(hm please don’t ask me that when you see me; trust me it gets a little confusing sometimes if I have)BUT SEE WHAT IT TOOK ME? EVEN HURTING MYSELF IN THE PROCESS.IF EVENTUALLY I GAVE IN TO “SOME TOM OR DICK”I WAS MORE OF INSPECTOR BEDIAKO AND CSI AND EVEN CONFUSED AS TO WHETHER THE PERSON TRULY LOVED ME OR JUST LUSTED AFTER ME.
IT’S A HARD ROAD AND AN EMOTIONAL CHOICE WE ALL MAKE AND I HAVE HAD THE FAIR SHARE OF BREAKUPS AND GETTING IT WRONG AND MY DEEPEST REGRETS IS THAT PART OF ME I THINK, STILL LIVES THE HURT AND
I UNCONSCIOUSLY HURT ONE PERSON I LOVED DEARLY, TO BITS ACTUALLY BUT WELL THAT IS A CROSS I CARRY AND THAT IS SOMETHING I SOUGHT TO MAKE RIGHT EVERYDAY OF MY LIFE……
SO MY DEAR READER WHO WROTE TO ME, I CAN CHOOSE TO BE CYNIC. I HAVE BEEN THERE AND I AM LIVING IT…THE REST IS FOR YOU TO FIGURE OUT, LIFE IS BUT A STORY BEING TOLD AND A PROCESS…

I AM STILL LEARNING……